Have you ever found yourself adjusting your dreams, beliefs, and ambitions to fit the mould of someone else’s fears and limitations? Perhaps it was a romantic relationship, a marriage, or even a close partnership where one person’s scarcity mindset dictated the course of your shared life.
This is more common than we think. Many people unconsciously adopt the thought patterns of their significant other, especially if that person insists their way is the “right” or “realistic” way to think. But what happens when their mindset is rooted in fear, lack, and limitation?
How It Begins: The Gradual Influence of Scarcity Thinking
At first, it might seem like they’re just being cautious or practical. They tell you:
- “We can’t afford to take risks.”
- “It’s better to stay where we are than try something new and fail.”
- “Why do you want more? Be grateful for what you have.”
- “People like us don’t get to live those kinds of lives.”
- “It’s selfish to want more when others have less.”
These statements, often disguised as wisdom, come from a place of fear—fear of failure, rejection, or even success. Over time, if you’re not careful, you might start believing them too.
Real-Life Examples of Living Under This Spell
- The Entrepreneurial Dream That Never Took Flight
A woman who always wanted to start her own business finds herself married to a husband who believes that a steady paycheck is the only way to survive. Every time she expresses her desire to take a step toward her dream, he dismisses it:- “Businesses fail all the time. Do you really think you’re different?”
- “You should be happy with your job. Why risk it?”
- “What if we lose everything? What about security?”
Over time, she internalizes his fears and never starts her business, spending years regretting the path she never took.
- The Fear of Investing in Oneself
A woman who wants to further her education, take a personal development course, or even invest in her health might hear:- “That’s a waste of money.”
- “What will a degree do at this age?”
- “You should focus on what’s necessary, not luxuries like this.”
Eventually, she stops believing in her potential and settles for a life that feels stagnant, simply because someone else convinced her that growth is unnecessary.
- “Coaching Is Just a Scam” – The Dream to Help Others Gets Shut Down
Imagine someone deeply passionate about personal growth and transformation, who dreams of starting a coaching business. They believe in the power of coaching because it changed their own life. But their partner scoffs:- “Why do you need coaching to better your life?”
- “Coaching is just for high school dropouts who don’t know what to do with their lives.”
- “You already have a job—why are you wasting time on this?”
- “People don’t pay for that. It’s not a real profession.”
The person starts doubting themselves. Even though they feel called to help others, they bury their dream under the weight of their partner’s disapproval. Years later, they see others thriving in the industry and realize they could have, too—if only they had trusted themselves.
- Settling for Less in a Relationship
A woman in an emotionally unfulfilling marriage may hear:- “This is how marriage is; you expect too much.”
- “At least I don’t cheat or hit you. Be grateful.”
- “You should sacrifice for the sake of the family.”
She starts shrinking herself, silencing her needs, and accepting less than she deserves—because someone conditioned her to believe she was asking for too much.
Breaking Free: Shifting From Lack to Abundance
The truth is, living under someone else’s limitations doesn’t protect us—it keeps us small. Breaking free starts with recognizing these patterns and asking yourself:
- Whose voice is in my head when I doubt myself?
- Do I believe in these limitations, or have I just absorbed them?
- What do I really want, and what would I do if fear wasn’t holding me back?
True freedom comes when you step into an abundance mindset—one where you believe that growth, success, and fulfillment are available to you. You don’t have to wait for permission to dream bigger. You get to rewrite the story.
Have you ever found yourself held back by someone else’s scarcity mindset? How did you break free? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear your journey!
